OUaT 3.05: Good Form

Subtitle: Blue Satin Bow

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Honestly, SO MANY THINGS of note happened in this episode. But I cannot with the bow. I cannot. I LOVE IT. 

When we first saw this outfit, in preview and promo pics, I thought OH, Treasure Planet! And then I got very attached to the idea of Killian’s backstory being linked to Jim Hawkins. And assumed I’d set myself up for disappointment. But then their ship flew. It flew up into the clouds. Uniform + flying ship + ponytail = Treasure Planet. Whatever the writers are doing with this show, the costume designers and set dressers and effects masters love me. 

There’s no way I’m done talking about the blue satin bow because BLUE SATIN BOW, but here’s what happened. 

In Pan Camp, Henry is still sitting apart from the group, and still wearing his red flannel. I won’t accept that Henry is becoming a Lost Boy until he changes his shirt. At least loosens it. I see it like Regina and the blue blazer. Despite tromping through the jungle for days she is still wearing her blazer. Because it reminds her who she is. Anyway, it’s time for another lesson, Pan helps Henry use imagination to turn a stick into a sword and sets him on another Lost Boy. Pan Camp is a lot like Fight Club sometimes. Henry not only bests the Boy, he cuts his cheek. How Snow of you, Henry! Henry immediately apologizes but Pan makes him take it back because There are no sorrys in Fight Club. Henry smiles and it is scary

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The rest of the Storybrooke Neverlanders are still in the Baecave – maybe Neal’s unapologetic attitude about apologies is due to the many years he spent in Peter’s Fight Club? – but no closer to coming up with an escape plan so they can get Tink back (we miss her!), trick Pan, and #SaveHenry. Emma starts to panic that Henry is losing hope. Hook tries to comfort her, Charming tries to threaten him, Snow comes up with a plan and runs off without telling anyone what her idea is because communication is what the Charmings do worst, and Regina wonders how this is her life? Or at least that is my interpretation.

Sometime in the 1700s, somewhere like England, young Lt. Killian Jones gets the recruits ready for his brother the Captain by throwing their rum overboard. His uniform is pressed and polished and he wears his hair pulled back in a matching blue satin bow (I will never get over it). He is a sailor and an officer and not at all a pirate. Captain-Brother Liam arrives to pat Killian on the back and go over their mission as they hoist anchor and set sail. They are using a shiny gold sextant to lead them to a hidden island on which grows a magic plant that will heal any ailment. I hope it glows gold when you sing to it!

The sextant has a pegasus engraving and came with matching magic sails that lift the ship into the air. Second star to the right, intones Liam, and away they go. 

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Snow’s plan is to trap a Lost Boy and send him back to Pan Camp with a message. So they are gathering things necessary to build a Lost Boy trap. Rope and sticks and rope. Hook and Charming walk off alone as they are like to do.

Charming: Stay away from my daughter.
Hook: You already said that. About 5 minutes ago. You really are fascinatingly incapable of being anyone but who you are.
Charming: You’re not good enough for her because you’re a pirate and pirates are villains and villains can’t change. So there.
Hook: Is it lonely in your reality? 

They argue, for the third episode in a row, about David lying to his loved ones about being mortally wounded. For some reason Charming thinks it is NOBLE. Hook thinks he is INSANE. 

Hook: I know a place with a cure–
Charming: No! Nothing must get in the way of #SavingHenry!
Hook: Because you being DEAD will really help our cause.

And so it goes. Charming finds a luggage tag with the name ‘Jones’ on it and Killian says it was his brother’s…and if the tag survived, maybe the luggage did, too. And inside it was the shiny magic sextant that could help them read the Baecave light show and discover the escape plan etc. etc. okay? Charming agrees because climbing up the rockface of a dark and scary mountain sounds like the perfect way to spend his last hours. 

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When they make landfall in Neverland Peter greets the brothers Jones on the beach and helpfully explains the plant they are looking for is on the dark and scary mountain that way – though it looks way less dark and scary in the sunlight. Peter also warns them that the plant has no magic healing properties but is instead a deadly poison. Liam thinks that’s preposterous as they are on the King’s mission. The King! But Killian thinks the weird boy on the beach has no reason to lie about it. As David is currently dying due to contact with said poison we know Killian is right. But I am still holding out slight hope for Rapunzel’s flower showing up because Colin did sing in a band. 

Charming and Hook explain the magic sextant plan to the crew and Charming makes a big show of his goodbyes so that after he dies they’ll realize he loved them. Or something. Charming Logic is Not Logical. He tells them to give Henry a message, Grandpa loves you, and embraces his family. Emma is weirded out by her father’s overenthusiastic hug, Snow starts to think that maybe he is acting a bit strange, and Regina wonders how this is her life?

Captain Charming head off up the mountain and their blossoming bromance is taken to the next level by invoking their actual brothers. 

Charming: I had a brother, too, you know. A twin. But he died before I knew he existed. 
Hook: So, that is nothing whatsoever like my situation. 
Charming: You would have liked my brother. He was a jerk and I hated him. 
Hook:
Charming: wink wink nudge nudge
Hook: Oh, right. YOU would have liked MY brother. He was a fine upstanding citizen who died because he was ridiculously stubborn for no reason.

I really do love their bromance, though. Hook asks Charming to wait for him to climb the peak and throw a rope down but Pan appears in his path before he accomplish the second part of that plan. He offers to let Hook leave the cursed island if he betrays Team Charming. Hook refuses so Pan suggests he can take Emma, too. Seems everyone on the island has figured out Hook’s here for the girl. Hook refuses on the grounds that Emma would never leave Henry which prompts an interesting line: She already did once. Hmmmmm. Peter is the king of abandoned boys and has been forever. There is no nuance from his point of view. Beneath the flash the Peter Pan story is very sad, and very dangerous.  I’m really starting to worry about Henry.

Anyway, Peter tells Hook if he wants to accept the deal he has to kill Charming. Then he vanishes just as Charming, who ignored Hook’s request to wait because he’s Prince Charming not Prince Patient, appears. Hook throws up his hands and leads the way to where his brother died. 

Back on the sunny version of the mountain Killian and Liam find the magic plant. They argue about it being wondrous or poisonous again and Liam decides the best way to win the argument is to prick himself with the plant. Liam is really, really trusting. He actually IS a lot like Charming, huh? And just to drive the point home he drops to the ground dead, or soon to be. Killian’s blue satin bow droops in anguish. 

Snow’s snare conveniently catches the boy with the cut cheek and everything that happens next is amazing. First, Emma and Regina try to befriend the boy in their own special ways.

Regina: I can conjure sweeties at will! 
Emma: I can bring you all home with me!
Boy: I don’t need your chocolate I have plenty of Pan Kool Aid to drink!
Emma: But we support health care for all! Pan cut your cheek!
Boy: Pan didn’t do this, your stupid kid did.
Snow: Oh noes!
Emma: Oh…noes….
Regina: Oh HELL no.

Regina decides to take matters into her own hands, literally, and prepares to rip the kid’s heart out, making him her puppet. Snow objects strenuously. Emma does not. Regina lets Emma be the tie-breaker and Emma agrees to the plan. And then forcibly holds Snow back while Regina takes the Boy’s heart and sends him back to Henry.

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Okay, let’s talk about this. 1. Regina asked Emma for permission! Did she only ask because she was pretty sure Emma would agree? Maybe. But that only means Regina knows how to read Emma. And more poignantly trusts Emma. And 2. Emma not only agreed to Regina’s plan, she became an active participant by trapping Snow. She allied herself with Regina, her mother’s archenemy, against her mother. Wow

Regina gives the Boy half a magic compact (can she CREATE magic items out of thin air?? That is seriously powerful. Or maybe her blazer has pockets like Hermione Granger’s beaded bag and that’s why she won’t take it off.) which he gives to Henry. 

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Emma, Regina and Snow: Henry! HI!
Henry: Mom?
Emma and Regina: I love you!
Snow, literally: I’m here, too! 
Henry: This is a trick!
Emma, Regina and Snow: No, no, it’s not! We’re here! In Neverland! We’re going to find you!
Henry: Nothing you’ve just said makes me think this is not a trick…
Emma: It’s Operation Cobra Rescue!
Henry: Okay…maybe…Aack, Pan’s here. Gotta go. smashes the mirror
Emma: We forgot to tell him about Grandpa.
Snow: Whatever, it’s not like he’s dying.

Back on Never Peak, Grandpa is dying. He takes the time to call Hook names and accuse him of allying himself with Pan. Hook tries yet again to explain that he is HELPING Charming but Charming is too far gone to listen. Hook knocks him out and we are treated to the truth.

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Helpful, or more likely bored, Peter Pan had helped Killian save his brother from the Dreamshade all those years ago. Sadly it did not include singing, just a secret spring behind the bush. Pan cautioned that All magic comes with a price ™ but Killian didn’t understand and bored, or more likely cruel, Peter didn’t explain. Liam died all over again the minute he left Neverland. Cue Killian losing all his idealism and turning to piracy.

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Now, Hook wakes Charming up to give him the choice: he can be healed, and live, but he will be trapped in Neverland forever. Charming decides that’s just another keep-Snowing-separated plot device and accepts the water. Hurrah, he is saved. 

Emma, Snow and Regina return to the base of the mountain to wait for Captain Charming and chat about their day. 

Emma: Sorry about that whole forcibly siding with Regina thing.
Snow: I don’t care about that, I care about you. I know why you did it–
Emma, literally: Because he’s our son.
Snow: –but I’m worried about what you did.
Regina, literally:  She didn’t. I did. That’s what I’m here for.

AWESOME. I love Regina’s characterization this season. She is on fire. Anyway, the discussion is tabled because the boys return from the mountain.

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Snowing: PDA!!
Emma and Regina: Gross. 
Charming: Hook saved my life!
Hook: Now you’re going to tell the truth?!
Charming: Of course not! I’m going to make up an elaborate lie about being attacked and almost poisoned but not actually poisoned. Adding a little truth is the best way to sell a lie.
Hook: Oh, well, okay then.

Charming returns to Snow to continue their make-out session, Regina refuses Hook’s offer of rum (aside: isn’t it interesting that in the earlier scene Killian’s refusal of rum was the indicator that he is a good soldier?) leaving Emma to accept it. And the inevitable (not at all shocking ABC promo department) Hook-up happens.

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I have complicated feelings. I like these characters and their chemistry a lot. Hook’s flirty face just before the kiss was ADORABLE. He looked like a puppy even without his blue satin bow. And Hook and Emma are the second coming of my Pirates of the Caribbean OTP, Jack and Elizabeth. And while there is a shadow of heartbreak hanging over them I always ship tragedy so in many ways I’m all aboard.  

I would also be okay if Emma’s statement that it was a one time only moment of weakness stood. Hook/Colin has chemistry with everybody and I could probably ship him with anybody (except Neal because that would be like shipping Regina and Henry from my pov). And while Swan Fire will have to do flaming cartwheels on Jupiter to get me even moderately invested, maybe someday Neal will not be horrible and I will accept it the way I do Ron and Hermione (sigh).  I can’t imagine any of the other fanon Emma ships becoming canon at this point, but who knows how long the show will go on. 

The relationship movement I loved best in this episode was between Emma and Regina. They are united in their love for Henry and that will never go away. They HAVE to get along as best they can in order to do what’s right for their son. Their relationship has always been the one that interested me the most and the one I am most invested in. I’m not really talking about Swan Queen in the sexual or romantic sense (though I’m not at all opposed, I don’t see it happening that way), I want Emma and Regina to be family. And maybe I’m naive but I think the show does, too. 

Anyway, Emma says this is a thing they won’t do again and will never speak of and he should count to ten before following her back and Hook replies As you wish and we all know that means he loves her and seriously this episode is all about Killian being a cutie.

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Emma leaves and Pan pops in to break every Captain Swan Shipper’s heart by giving Hook valuable information: Neal is alive and on Neverland. Will he tell Emma and lose her heart or not tell her and…Sigh. We all know this is a lose-lose situation. For everyone except Neal (of course!) who is being held in a box, strung up next to {insert your theory here}.

My one remaining thought and question – those mirrors are an awful lot like the ones owned by Sirius Black and Harry Potter. And Harry’s still worked after being broken. Might Henry’s?

And if so, who is most likely to use it?

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