Subtitle: So Many Dumb Decisions (and a Baby)
There is a lot to love in this episode. Regina’s arc is fantabulous. Everything Henry does is great. We see Dorothy. Glinda is outed as the Good Bitch she always ends up being. Snow has her baby. The good guys win. There’s payoff for a bunch of ships. It feels a lot like a season finale. But there is such a progression of dumb decisions and the specter of the actual season finale coming up hangs over everything.
Dumb Decision Number One: Sending Emma to Face the Witch
Yes, Emma is the Savior and the Wielder of All Powerful Light Magic, the only one who can defeat Zelena. But who says she has to go after the witch? They know Zelena is after the baby, she will come to them. How about Emma and her super magic guard the hospital? How about she be surrounded by oh, idk, THE ENTIRE TOWN to help protect the baby? Where are Blue and Tink and the rest of the fairies? Where is Granny with her crossbow skillz? Where is mythical magical creature Red? WHERE IS MULAN. Yes, they had some perimeter support in Robin & the Merry Men, Belle, and Regina but they could have had EVERYONE. Because EVERYONE is in danger and also the baby is their prince. Right?
I realize Emma and Regina are used to doing everything alone, Snow’s brain is addled by pregnancy, and Charming has never proven good at strategy but sending Emma off to get Zelena on her territory makes very little tactical sense.
Dumb Decision Number Two: Sending Hook with Emma
Let’s send the one person we know can erase Emma’s magic along with her as back-up. GOOD IDEA, CHARMING. I have a better one, how about you send LITERALLY ANYONE ELSE. Charming has to stay with his wife and Regina with Henry, that’s fine. But how about Robin? How about any of the people I mentioned above? How about not Hook? Put Hook in charge of protecting Henry and send Regina. Put Hook in the baby’s room as Charming’s back up. Keep Hook and Emma separate so Zelena’s spell cannot go off!!!!!!
Dumb Decision Number Three: Emma Kisses Hook
Rumple made Hook drown so Emma has to give him mouth to mouth, touching her lips to his and thus setting off the lip curse. OR she could have used her hands to clear his airway and pump his chest to push air out. And/or roll him on his side. Pinch his nose. I mean she could have TRIED something else before jumping to the kiss of doom. Or she could have just left him behind but I already covered that.
Dumb Decision Number Four: No One Tries to Get the Dagger
Knowing that Emma is the only one who can stop Zelena, the hospital crew should have focused on stopping Rumple and/or getting the dagger away from Zelena and therefore stopping Rumple. Belle sort of focuses on Rumple but not in any particularly productive way. And until the later scene when Rumple TELLS them to get the dagger so then he’ll be back on their side no one seems to even remember.
Dumb Decision Number Five: Belle Trusts Rumple
I will forgive her because True Love (™) but it is still a dumb decision.
Dumb Decision Number Six: No One Guards Zelena’s Cell
This is what happens when the Sheriff’s Department is entirely made up of one family and that one family has a new member. Nobody wants to be on Zelena duty. But it doesn’t have to be a Charming who stays. Again, there is a whole town of people. Instead they leave her alone so Rumple can pop in and exact his revenge – except not because Zelena has a horcrux.
Probably none of them could stop Rumple getting in but that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t have TRIED.
Dumb Decision Number Seven: Glinda
Glinda has been shown to be untrustworthy in every incarnation I have encountered and here she is again. Glinda is the unrivaled Queen of Lying By Omission! First she sets Zelena up.
Then she keeps Dorothy in the dark about the wizard.
Then she tells Snowing none of it when she talks to them and even if “I exacerbated Zelena’s trust issues tenfold” is deemed irrelevant (which, no) “we thought our savior defeated her once before” is something she should have mentioned. But she’s Glinda so of course she didn’t.
In amongst the dumb decisions were some absolutely wonderful character moments.
Regina, Regina, Regina. I have never been so pleased by a character’s growth and the best and most important part is that she owns it. She chooses who she is.
Henry proves to be the Truest Believer again and his faith in Regina is rewarded while his faith in Emma is proving misguided, which only serves to prove my theory about Emma being stuck in her story this season.
More proof: Captain Swan had the same conversation they have had every episode.
Hook: Stop running away from who you are.
Emma: No, I was happy in New York.
Hook: But it wasn’t real.
Emma: But I was happy!
They used to be the canon couple I was most rooting for but now I am bored.
And I’m more into Outlaw Queen. Robin’s a good boyfriend for popping in to say he agrees with Henry that Regina has a good heart and can be a hero if she wants to be. But here’s the relationship I’m invested in, even if it’s not romantic:
Her faith may have faltered since but Emma was the FIRST to believe in Regina and Regina remembers.
Rumbelle are engaged but since Rumple is still deceiving Belle I can’t be happy about it.
Snowing have a baby boy. Maybe Snow can get some brain cells back now.
But Zelena’s spell is cast and her trap is sprung and we are all zooming towards a giant “UNDO” and that is my least favorite plot ever in the history of ever and I am so scared. Hold me!
Are you prepared for the finale?